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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568692">When I Watch The World Burn (All I Think About Is You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy'>rainbowchristy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Parents, Apocalypse, Demons, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Bird Box (2018), M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-YouTuber Dan Howell, Post-Apocalypse, Recklessness, Self-Esteem Issues, YouTuber Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:13:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Invisible, demon-like creatures infiltrate England. Dan's husband loses his life as a result. Their daughter, Ellie, goes missing. With a blindfold, Dan has a chance at survival. But is it worth it if he's alone?</p>
<p>A Bird Box AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Original Male Character(s), Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I Watch The World Burn (All I Think About Is You)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this a while ago but never posted it, idk why.</p>
<p>Big thanks to Tara (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmyusualday">@itsmyusualday</a>) who beta'd this for me! Check her out, she's got some amazing fics of her own!</p>
<p>TW: Suicide, Death, Minor intrusive thoughts.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’d happened when Dan was home alone. Richard, along with their three-month-old daughter, were out at the park. Dan had wanted to go too, of course, but his work had kept him inside. He couldn’t afford to lose this job and so, unfortunately, his personal life had to come second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’d happened a week prior. When Rich and Dan had been sitting at the breakfast bar, Ellie asleep in her crib one room over. Across the radio - which they only had because of Rich’s love for old-timey things - crackled to life midway through a song. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Over two-thousand reported suicides within Horwich, Bolton. Thousands continue actively entering harm's way for a seemingly unknown reason.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’d happened overseas first. Something they’d heard on the radio in passing but Rich had passed off as a myth. Dan’s fear of the supernatural had argued it was real - that people were actively harming themselves after seeing this </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> - but Rich said it was fake, and he trusted him more than his fears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’d happened unexpectedly. The screams from outside had awoken him from his nap - and when did he fall asleep again? He’d wandered over to the window blearily and pulled the curtain to the side, looking out to the chaos on the streets. Hundreds were running, some driving - from what, he didn’t know. He looked around, searching for his husband and daughter. Surely they weren’t caught up in this mess; they couldn’t be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, his eyes caught onto his husband in the swarm, running with Ellie clutched to his chest in desperation to protect her. He watched as his husband suddenly stopped moving, eyes watching as people ran into him and swore. He watched as Rich carefully put their daughter on the ground before walking away and leaving her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan was too shocked to move. Blood - his husband’s blood - was splattered upon the asphalt of the road. There was no way he’d survived. A truck had driven straight into him and the screech of the brakes wasn’t enough to save him. Swallowing back the vomit, he quickly looked back to his daughter only to find she wasn’t there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Where the fuck did she go?!</span>
  </em>
  <span> was all he could think. Not only did he lose his husband, but his daughter was now missing. He really was the shittest father and husband in the world. He saw people look back and then instantly seek out ways to die. It was horrible. He pulled the blinds shut, his survival instincts kicking in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed duck-tape from his office and taped up all the windows, and triple-locked the door before pushing all the furniture against it. He tried to calm down. He was safe here. He couldn’t see the thing and it couldn’t get to him. He knew that. He’d done research after Rich had gone to sleep. He knew he wouldn’t have approved; he would have told him it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>“fine”</span>
  </em>
  <span> and that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>“all a myth.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t even bring himself to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>I told you so</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even just in his mind. His husband didn’t deserve that; he didn’t deserve any of this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If only he’d gone with Rich. Or if only he’d insisted they could last another day without the baby formula. Or maybe even if only he’d insisted he went instead. Anything to have stopped him leaving the house, especially with Ellie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Two Years Later…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t let any more in!” Mike demanded. “This place is crowded as it is!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can fit one more!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You say that every time!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!” Dan shouted over them. “This is my apartment. How would you have felt if I hadn’t let you in?” he questioned. “Now grab the gun. I’m gonna speak with our guest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nods around them followed and three reached for the guns they’d scavenged while the rest prepared to shield their eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“State your name and age,” Dan said, voice remaining dull. Over the twenty-plus months, being emotionally numb proved to be a helpful skill to survive. You couldn’t care about anyone; they’d just die and cause heartbreak in the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phil Lester, thirty-two I think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For some incredibly strange reason, that name rang a bell. “Okay Phil, we’re gonna open the door.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a groan from Mike as he snatched a gun off the table. The loud click of it being loaded sounded and everyone else pulled on their blindfolds. Dan squeezed his eyes closed, reading everyone for the door to be opened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready, Phil?” he questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” the voice sounded back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, door opening in three.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ten seconds later, Phil Lester was in the flat along with the twelve others, making the apartment designed for two now house thirteen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what are we going to do?” Elinor questioned seriously, rubbing her hands over her knees as she sat on the armrest of the sofa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Some of us will have to go out,” Dan responded, upset and scared by the prospect but knowing it was the only option.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t just- it’s a suicide mission,” Ruth answered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a suicide mission if we don’t go. We’re going to run out of food, there isn’t any other option.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Surely there must be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have to go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I agree!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone’s voices combined into a loud wall of noise which hurt Dan’s head more than he wanted to admit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re doing it!” he shouted loudly, trying to speak over everyone else. “If you don’t agree, you can leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone went quiet at that, not wanting to argue and be kicked from the group.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There isn’t another option; we have to go get food. I will go with one other person, whoever gets closest to the number I’m thinking of.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a heap of numbers were stated, Dan looked towards Ruth. “Sorry, you were the closest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Figures,” he laughed, running a hand through sandy-blond hair. “Let’s get ready then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the two were ready, they shrugged on their backpacks, forced the blindfolds snugly over their eyes and informed everyone they were off. They walked slowly and carefully, trailing their fingers against the bricks of buildings and the glass of store windows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re here,” Dan announced, fingers dancing across the bumps that read ‘Public Library.’ They shuffled along until they found the door, pushing it open and entering the building.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who wants to check the coast is clear?” Dan whispered into the quiet. It was dead silent aside from Ruth’s fast breathing and Dan’s Winnie-The-Pooh voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do we have to? I can’t hear anything,” Ruth answered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How else are we going to find food?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, but if I die it’s your fault,” he answered, grumpy as always. Dan heard Ruth mutter “fucking dictator” under his voice before lifting his blindfold, followed by a loud sigh. “Clear,” he informed. Dan pushed his blindfold up onto his forehead, looking around. “Why did you take us to a library?” he then questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan just rolled his eyes. “Because there is a storage basement not many people know about. It’s more likely to have supplies than a bloody supermarket.” Dan lead them through the corridors filled with books, not looking as he usually did. They were on a mission; he didn’t exactly have time to waste. He entered the code he somehow still remembered from when he had volunteered at the library and made his way into the staff-only area.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here we go,” Dan announced, pushing open the door before stepping into the cold underground room. Inside, there were large containers filled with spare food. They were donations for a local homeless shelter but anyone who was homeless was now likely dead. Sure, it was probably unethical, but when it was life or death, ethics didn’t really matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They loaded bags of food into their backpacks, making sure to take the stuff that would last a long while without refrigeration.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t we stay here?” Ruth suddenly said, looking around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t we stay here? The others will just assume we’re dead and there’s plenty of food here; there’s no need to go back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going back. We aren’t just ditching everyone. Besides, that’s my apartment; it’s all I’ve got left. I’m not leaving it, nor am I anyone there to starve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, fine,” he mumbled, continuing, “You and your fucking morals.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just shut up and get packing,” Dan snapped, shoving more food into his bag that the fabric could probably contain. Just as they were about to leave, Dan grabbed a milk carton, knowing it would be a real treat for everyone back home to enjoy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked back through the library after making sure the staff area was locked (they could come back later to get more food). Dan stopped, causing Ruth to crash into his back, probably crushing whatever food they had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” he questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing, just- nothing,” Dan answered, pausing and hesitating. “We should come back here and get some books to read; it’s boring all day with just board games,” he said, continuing to walk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have about seventy board games, how is that not enough?” Ruth laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan just shrugged. “Sometimes a good book is a really good distraction from the world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The conversation was left at that, the two pulling their blindfolds back on and slowly making their way back to the apartment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next time Dan and Ruth went out together, Ruth attacked him, taking all the remaining food and running off. Dan, miserable, cold and half-conscious, accepted death. He knew there was nothing he could do; he’d either die of natural causes or the demon-things would come to get him since he no longer had a blindfold. Either way, he’d accepted it was his time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan?” a voice called. Dan shook his head. Great, now he was hallucinating voices. “Daniel?” it continued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, please no,” Dan whispered, too weak to do anything else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan? Are you in there?” it continued. Dan squealed as a cockroach crawled over his arm, alerting the voice to his presence. “What’s the code?” the voice asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Four, seven, two, nine,” he choaked out. A minute later, the voice appeared. Except it wasn’t just a voice, it had a body, made of pale skin, muscles, blue eyes and ginger-brown hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phil,” he whispered, finally realising he wasn’t going crazy. Or maybe this just meant he was crazier than he thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan! God! What happened to you?!” he demanded, voice loud and making Dan wince. “Sorry,” he said, quieter. “Are you ok? Hurt anywhere?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hu-gy,” Dan choaked out. He was too sore after everything to move and so he’d had to stay still. And then he’d been too weak to find food, even after he healed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, of course, here,” Phil said, pulling a sandwich from his bag. It was fresh and Dan wondered how Phil got his hands on meat that wasn’t disgustingly-mouldy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he whispered, taking a mouthful of the delicious food when Phil helped him bring it to his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Water?” Phil offered, holding out a bottle covered in condensation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Dan sighed out, grabbing the cold water and taking sips. He didn’t want to chug it, he needed to savour this. “Why are you here?” he asked next, having enough energy to sit up a little with Phil’s help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I came to find you. Where’s Ruth?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He attacked me and ran off with the food. I’m sorry,” Dan choaked, starting to cry. He’d accepted his death and now that Phil was here, he was allowing himself to hope a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay, that’s not you’re fault. I promise you,” Phil whispered calmingly, shuffling to sit next to Dan. “Come here,” he ordered lightly, pulling Dan into his warm body. Dan cuddled up to him easily, desperate to escape the cold of the basement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They remained for a few days, Phil somehow having enough food - and it was fresh! - to take care of both of them. Dan slowly got his strength back and was able to help Phil in cleaning and treating his injuries.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only a week after Ruth had attacked him, Dan was healed and recovering from the psychological trauma of awaiting your own death. Phil was a literal angel, coming out of the safety of Dan’s flat just to look for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a computer up in the library, I thought we should look to see if there are any safe places around here for us to go,” Phil suggested, looking up from his book. Dan, half-asleep from exhaustion, nodded his agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Phil’s help, they made their way up the stairs and into the small staffroom where a computer sat. Turning it on, it booted up and blue screened. “We can fix this,” Phil announced, smiling. He was always so cheery, Dan remembered that. But before Dan could think anymore, he passed out, body taking over control and dropping like dead weight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Dan woke up, he was alone. He was hungry, thirsty and back in the basement. So he had hallucinated the whole thing. Great, now he was even crazier. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan?” a voice whispered. Dan slid his eyes open, seeing a very-concerned Phil hovering over him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you real?” Dan whispered, not really with-it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil chuckled, worried. “I think so,” he smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I hallucinated you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” was Phil’s response. “Well, I think I’m real. You fell asleep; I caught you though and brought you back down here where it’s safer. I just left to use the bathroom, sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Thank you for coming to save me,” he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course! Some people may think it’s every man for himself, but I think we need friends to survive this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re amazing,” Dan smiled. Phil’s eyes shone and he smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I used to be known as AmazingPhil so-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?! That’s where I knew you from! You’re a YouTuber!” Dan suddenly shouted, grinning as if he’d worked out the secret to the universe’s creation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you know who I am?” Phil asked, suddenly blushing and shying away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re only the one who saved my life!” Phil rolled his eyes, not understanding what Dan meant. “I really struggled as a teenager; watching your videos was the highlight of my week! I was so close to- to offing myself. And I got a notification that you’d uploaded. And I couldn’t go without seeing that video. And then I watched more, and more, and then I felt better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I never really thought people actually cared about my videos. I’m sorry you felt that way, Dan, no one deserves that. But I’m glad my videos helped keep such an amazing person in the world.” Dan blushed, turning away from Phil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How about we check that computer again? I’m less exhausted now,” Dan smiled, causing Phil to grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I managed to fix it while you were out; it wasn’t that difficult, just an unplugged ethernet cable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it work?” Dan asked, pushing himself off the ground without help for a change and following Phil through to the staff room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I found a shelter thing. It’s a school for the blind? It’s been made into a sanctuary kinda thing for people who make it there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean ‘make it there’?” Dan asked, his eyebrows drawing together as Phil brought up the information.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s, uh, not exactly an easy place to get to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s for the blind! Why would it be difficult to get to?!” Dan laughed, confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s in Wales, Dan.” Dan’s laughter ceased, the library falling silent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They did end up deciding to go for it. It was either die of starvation or attempt to make the journey and possibly die. The main problem, as you could imagine, was getting there. It was three hours by car, fifty hours walking. Car’s weren’t safe if you couldn’t see, and they couldn’t exactly walk either, it’d be too long and too dangerous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite knowing how risky it was, they still braved the day and began walking. They were constantly listening out for people or things, anything that could bring them harm. Eventually, though, Phil announced, “We’re here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phil, we’ve barely walked two hours; how on Earth are we there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, silly. We’re at my old house. Now, if I remember correctly,” Phil trailed off, followed by some beeps and a large metal rattle sound. “Welcome to my Dad’s house,” Phil informed, grinning widely, not that Dan could see.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we doing here?” Dan questioned, more confused than he ever had been before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil laughed. “Didn’t I tell you?” Dan shook his head. “Dad had a Tesla, Dan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” The metal sound happened again and then Dan felt fingers on his face, lifting the blindfold. He flailed, shouting for Phil to help him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, it’s just me. It’s safe in here, promise.” Dan, although terrified, trusted Phil. He’d saved his life, twice now. Phil wouldn’t put him in harm's way. He slowly opened his eyes, ready to force them shut again if need be. That wasn’t necessary though, as the room was windowless and sealed off from the outdoors. There was the faint outline of a car and he heard the sound of Phil pulling a door open. “Get in,” Phil ordered, smiling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is crazy! Tesla driving hasn’t even been fully released! And how the hell do you have one?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was my Dad’s; before he, well, saw the things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan frowned. “I’m sorry, Phil.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, I’m over it,” Phil answered, voice sad but a smile on his lips. “Besides, this can get us there safely. It may not be legal but the tests were all done, it’s safe, I promise. Besides, even if it’s not, we can’t walk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess,” Dan answered, smiling and climbing into the car. It was spacious and elegant. “Fancy,” he commented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ve never driven it before but how hard can it be?” Phil played around for a while, pressing buttons and having random things happen. Eventually, though, the car windows were darkened and it became a cacoon, safe from the outside world. “The worst part will be having to charge partway. But if we stay in the car and awake while it charges, it should be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phil are you sure this is a good idea; can’t we just stay at your Dad’s house?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, the school is the safest place in the UK. We don’t have a choice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car ride wasn’t actually too bad. In all honesty, it was the most relaxed Dan had been in a while. “Can I ask you something?” Dan asked, eyes starting to close as it was getting late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Phil whispered, equally tired. The car was so high-tech the seats converted into beds so at least they got to lie down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you come to my flat after the outbreak? And why did you come to get me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I came to your flat because my house is in Manchester and my Dad’s was a two hour walk away; it’s not like busses were running.” Dan nodded sleepily, trying to stay awake for the conversation. “And I came to get you, because, well, you helped me. I tried to get others to come but they all refused, insisting you were both dead. I don’t know, my gut was telling me you needed help; I just followed my instincts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, thank you, Phil. That’s twice you’ve saved my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil smiled sadly. “You’ve saved me too, even if you don’t know it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Dan could ask what Phil meant by that, the car’s alarms went off, pushing the seats back into an upright position and shoving a steering wheel into Phil’s chest. Said man just made a noise of confusion before the car wheel disappeared again and the seats snapped back down, taking the two boys with them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell is happening?” Dan demanded, terrified.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Phil informed, sitting back up again and messing with the controls of the car. “Shoot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The car needs charging. There’s one a half-hour away, we’ll have to go for that. You go to sleep, I’ll stay awake and monitor the car. Put your blindfold on just in case the car dies.” Dan nodded, reaching for his blindfold before slipping it over his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night, Phil,” he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Dan,” Phil replied, running his hand lightly through Dan’s curls and kissing his forehead. “Sleep well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan woke up to a large shove against the car. He woke up quickly, having already become accustomed to waking up quickly. “Phil! What’s going on?” he shuddered out, body jerking again with the car. “Phil?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached over for said man, trying to find him. But he wasn’t in the seat next to him. Surely Phil wouldn’t just leave him to die, would he? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why wouldn’t he? You go crazy when you have even the slightest amount of power? You’re a fucking psycho.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And wow, Dan hadn’t had those kinds of thoughts in- well, years. Probably a decade even. So why now, when he was being attacked by a thing that wanted to hurt him, would they come back? Had he maybe already seen it? And this was his body and mind getting ready to end everything? But he wasn’t feeling impulsive or like he would go jump in front of a train. His blindfold was on snug and he was just sat in Phil’s Dad’s Tesla as god knows what was outside, trying to get in. And where the hell was Phil!?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly there was a loud crash outside and the sound of crying. Dan, although terrified, felt compelled to get out of the car and go towards the sound. He reached for the handle before a hand yanked on his wrist. “Dan! What are you thinking?!” Phil’s voice demanded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s something out there,” Dan reasoned, turning to look at - well, face - Phil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! No kidding!” Phil responded, frantic as he sat holding Dan’s hands. And how had they ended up holding hands?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Something else! Can’t you hear the crying?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Dan, what are you on about? There’s nothing out there but the thing that wants us dead!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! There’s- It sounds like a baby! Phil, there’s a baby out there! We have to save it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, calm down,” Phil fretted, “It’s okay. If you can still hear them when the thing goes away we can go looking, okay? How does that sound?” Dan’s brow furrowed as he thought and Phil seemed to sense this despite having his blindfold on. “It’s the safest option, Dan. You’ll get killed if you go out there now, and then you’re no help to the baby, are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess not, but it sounds hurt,” Dan whimpered, hands moving away from Phil’s and up to his ears to block out the crying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t get to them now, okay? We just have to wait,” Phil soothed, now running his hand through Dan’s curls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, after what felt like hours of Phil soothing Dan, the younger had calmed down and the thing pushing against the car had grown bored and left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The second Phil mentioned it was safe, Dan jumped from the car, straining his ears for the baby he could no longer here. “Is anyone there?” Dan shouted loudly, in hopes that the babe was either not alone or he was loud enough to startle it into crying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It worked, as after a bit of shouting - which included Phil shouting after Dan as he wandered further from the car - a baby’s crying sounded again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey there,” Dan cooed after finding the baby. It was big, which led Dan to believe it wasn’t actually a baby, but perhaps a toddler. Either way, he picked it up and carried it in his arms back towards Phil’s voice, stepping slow and cautious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Phil!” Dan shouted once he was close to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan! Jesus Christ! Don’t ever do that again! You could have gotten killed!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Phil. I’m sorry. I’ve got the baby. Well, I think it’s actually like a toddler. It’s too big to be a baby.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait- there was actually a baby out there?!” Phil asked, shouting out of pure shock. “Who could possibly be so evil to leave a baby alone out here?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They climbed into the car and pulled a blanket over them before pulling off their blindfolds to look at the baby. They had to make sure it was safe. They avoided each other’s eyes, both men feeling awkward from the forehead kiss and the hand-holding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww, he’s a cutie,” Phil smiled, looking down at the completely naked - aside from a diaper - toddler.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-she,” Dan corrected, tears streaming his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what’s wrong, Dan?” Phil asked, now looking for Dan’s eyes as he was worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Ellie,” Dan sobbed, more tears coming as he said it allowed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, I’m not following. You know her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She- she’s my baby!” Dan cried, pulling her into his chest and hugging her tight; after only a short while, Phil pulled her away despite Dan’s protests. He was hugging her so tightly she was suffocating and Dan was too emotional to realise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, I understand this is confusing, but you need to calm down, you’re going to hurt her,” Phil informed. Dan was sobbing, arms outstretched in a desperate attempt to reach his daughter. His daughter! Who he thought he’d lost along with his husband! She was here! And fine!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I can’t, Phil I can’t,” Dan heaved, breathing erratic. His vision was blurry and black spots were appearing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sleep, Dan, I’ll watch over you,” Phil whispered as Dan fell into the unconscious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“R-Rich,” Dan mumbled. Phil had the babe on his lap, smiling and playing with her while the car charged. It was at about 30% at the moment, enough for the car to function while it finished up charging.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan grumbled, rolling around - well, as much as he could in a car seat. “N-no. D-don’t go. Stay. P-please, s-stay,” he continued. Phil realised he was having a bad dream pretty quick and even though the car told him it was only 1:37 am, he decided to wake Dan up. He’d want to be awoken if he was having a bad dream after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dan, Dan wake up. You’re safe now,” he tried but Dan showed no sign of acknowledgement. Phil reached out, pushing on his shoulder and speaking a little louder. “Dan, it’s time to wake up now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan grumbled and stirred before his eyes slid open to the dim lighting of the car. “What happened?” Dan questioned, voice croaky with sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were having a nightmare,” Phil answered, smiling sadly. He’d had his fair share; he couldn’t judge Dan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ellie,” Dan smiled, eyes landing on his daughter. He sat up, reaching out. “Can I hold her?” he asked softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil only smiled. “Of course,” he said, helping little Ellie cross the space between the two men.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, little Ellie,” Dan said, his bottom lip wobbling again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I ask; how do you know it’s her?” Phil questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Instinct. Something was pulling me to her. And, this,” Dan answered, hooking his finger around her neck and showing Phil the chain with a heart medallion. It had a topaz in the corner with ‘Ellie’ written in fancy italics. On the back, when Dan flipped it, it read ‘We love you, always - Rich &amp; Dan’. It was super sweet and even brought some tears to Phil’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really love Rich, don’t you, Dan?” They hadn’t talked heaps about their lives before the outbreak but they did know bits and pieces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan smiled sadly. “I did,” Dan responded, wiping a tear from his eye. “I’ve accepted I’ll never see him again. He wouldn’t want me to wallow in pity and grief my whole life; he was always about moving forward. I don’t believe in heaven but if I did, I know he’d be there watching over me, willing me to move on and be happy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I got the chance to meet him,” Phil consoled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You would have liked him. He’s a lot like you, actually. Nerdy,” Dan said, smiling at his tease.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Phil demanded in mock offence, holding a hand to his chest. “That’s it! You can walk the rest of the way!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rude!” Dan defended, laughing. Ellie seemed to sense this and gurgled a laugh too, causing Dan to burst into tears. “Oh little Ellie, I’ll never leave you again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil leant over, resting his hand on Dan’s shoulder and kissing Ellie’s head. “I’ll never leave you either,” he said, eyes facing Ellie but Dan knew the words were directed at him too. And, well, Dan couldn’t help himself. He was filled with happy emotions and falling more and more for the ginger-haired man beside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned his head, meeting Phil’s bright blue eyes before his own flickered to the man’s lips. He swallowed, looking back up to the ocean eyes, before leaning in, Phil meeting him halfway. They pulled away after only a second, eyes gazing into each other’s eyes yet again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does this mean?” Dan whispered, scared to break the silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want it to mean, Dan?” Phil whispered back, resting his head against Dan’s and locking eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dan swallowed, hard. “I really like you, Phil.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really like you too, Dan.” And Dan couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He connected their lips again, despite the daughter of another man on his lap, and felt the happiest he had since his wedding day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they arrived at the sanctuary, they were shown around and provided a room. They were asked what their skills were and assigned a group to help. Dan became a therapist and teacher, while Phil cultivated plants, helping the little community thrive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And little Ellie, well, she grew up with her two new dads, never knowing of the trauma that came in the first year of her life. One day, they’d have to tell her; inform her why they can’t leave the sanctuary, and why ‘Rich’ was written on her necklace instead of ‘Phil’, but that would come at a later date. For now, Dan and Phil were happy raising their small, unorthodox family in the little sanctuary they’d been lucky to find.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And when Ellie was four, she spoke her first words, smiling at Dan with a big toddler grin, “Papa.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lemme know what you think or <a href="https://rainbowchristy.tumblr.com/">come say hi on Tumblr</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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